Mark Divine’s Three Tips to Channel Stress into Success

“You can’t develop mental toughness without challenging yourself. I call it stressing yourself for success. There’s no question the human body is designed with that fight, flight, or freeze response, and you can interpret that to mean we’re not supposed to essentially stress ourselves out because we’re supposed to avoid stress or eliminate stress (which is impossible by the way) because it’s not good for our bodies.

“Well, that’s not true. Even in caveman days, it was the hunter who was able to control the stress response and turn it into a performance behavior that would allow him to get the most meat, face down the charging tiger, and organize a team to defeat him. That was called leadership. So, just because we have stress everyday in our life, doesn’t mean it has to be debilitating or lead to disease in our bodies.”

That’s a quote from our recent Social Capitalist guest Mark Divine, CEO of SEALFIT, and US CrossFit. He suggested the following strategies to channel your stress into high performance and actionable success:

  1. Breath control. Breathing has become an unconscious body function for most people. To get control of your breath, concentrate on it, slow it down, deepen it, use the full capacity of your lungs, and use your diaphragm. Anytime you feel that stress coming on, kick into this breath. In a calm environment, Mark recommends a four-count inhale, a four-count hold, and then a four- count exhale. If you’re in an environment where your heart is racing and you need more oxygen, just slow it down and do a four-count inhale, then a four-count exhale. Continue reading

Upgrade Your Networking Tools with Tips that Will Make You Stand Out

With social media it can be easy to underestimate the power of actual interaction beyond what can happen in the virtual world. Sometimes we look forward to the easiness of connecting with someone in the comfort of our own home, without investing a lot of time and effort to making it happen.

Relationships, along with most other things, follow the rule: the more you put in, the more you get out. That is why one of the most valuable pieces of advice in this Fame Appeal article is “Get out of the house.” Even if there is a price of admission – getting into an event that will help you make some face-to-face contacts is worth the investment.

The article offers seven unique and easy ways to change your in-real-life networking tactics for the better.

Being prepared is half the battle. A few of these tips offer unique, imaginative, and confident responses to basic get-to-know-you questions, such as where are you from and what do you do?

It’s important to remember that a sense of humor and some “pizzazz” is always a plus. For example, an unexpected and memorable response to the question, “Where are you from?”- would be, Well I live close enough to get here in under 30 minutes!This great answer not only answers the practical question at hand, but also shows that you have a bit of imagination. Continue reading

Build Credibility as a Square Peg: Tips from Heidi Roizen

Building credibility and a supportive network is easier when you “fit in” with the other members of the group you want to affiliate with. However, even if you don’t quite mirror the profile for your target group, all is not lost. In today’s Social Capitalist tip, Heidi Roizen, Silicon Valley’s most legendary networker, shares her perspective as a woman with a non-technical background breaking into the software industry.

Heidi says:

“Whenever I ran into a situation where someone was not receptive to me because I was young, or a woman, or non-technical, whatever the reason, my feeling was that there was always someone else I could go to. There was always another door I could open.

And as many times as being a woman hurt me, it probably helped me. It made me stand out. For example, in the early days of the Valley, there were so few articles about the women working there that I knew, given the size of my company, I would get more than my fair share of press, just because people were looking for women to write about. I wouldn’t call that exploitative, I would say that this might have helped me.

On the flip side, there were certainly times when I would walk into a room or a situation where I did not feel particularly welcome. I don’t think beating your head against those walls is a very effective approach. I think I learned that pretty quickly.

I think that tenacity, a good sense of self-worth, and a sense that you’re going to accomplish something even in the face of difficulty are all things you need to build in yourself and with your small group. Everybody starts out with a group, even if it’s your mom, and at least you’ve got somebody who tells you you’re good and that they like you. You need to get some strength from those people and recognize that not everything’s going to be a win. If you don’t find the win, you need to move on and go somewhere else.”

Read a full transcript of the interview with Heidi, filled with other great tips and insights, by clicking here.

Relationship Roundup – Fresh New Features at myGreenlight

As members of myGreenlight progress through their courses, we (the staff) continue to step up our game to evolve the program. This week, we revealed a few new features we can’t wait for members to apply to their training experience.

For our road runners – Member’s who’ve completed all three courses (30 lessons) and are ready for new challenges will get revved up about myGreenlight’s first elective course The Sales Action Sequence. The Sales Action Sequence was designed by Keith Ferrazzi to sharpen the relationship-building skills most fundamental to sales success. These 10 missions help members stockpile their social capital and grow their pipeline in service of meeting their revenue goals. Check out the new elective course here.

Linking in our members – myGreenlight profiles can now use the new LinkedIn profile integration feature to auto import data and create their community identity with the click of a button. Link in your myGreenlight profile today.

Mobile messaging – The course reminder text message feature gives members more control over when and where they receive communications from myGreenlight. Leveraging the proven power of text “nudges” for behavior modification; this feature allows users to opt-in to receive supportive reminders to complete their missions. Set up your mobile message here.

Help Desk refresh – Members can now get answers more quickly with our expanded knowledge base using our new Help Desk feature at

Kibibi Springs is myGreenlight’s Community Director.

A Good Employer Won’t Ask to Peek at Your Privates

I loved this juicy parable about a manager dealing with the repercussions of an “open yer Facebook” hiring policy. So did a lot of other people: The post got 500K+ hits soon after its author published it, thanks to Reddit. At least some of those readers took it to be real, including me before I took a close look at it – a testament to multitasking’s marijuana-level IQ-effect. (Too bad he didn’t post it on April Fool’s Day. I’d guess that the people who on April 2 felt duped would have given the guy props for a clever prank had he put it up a day earlier.)

The idea of companies asking job applicants to show their (Facebook) privates is horrifying, yes. But is it really happening? In all the reporting, I’ve only seen a couple of documented cases – this recent statistician in Seattle and last year, a Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services employee (his story can be found at that same link). I guess it’s not that hard to imagine hand-wringing, ham-fisted HR folks sending out FB requests – still, I’d like to see numbers before I’m going to really worry that this is becoming common practice. Personally, as someone who hires staff, I would never ask for FB access. (I am friends on FB with employees, but when they’re my friends, and not before.)

Here’s my advice. If an interviewer asks you if he or she can shoulder surf, or if an HR rep who’s not yet your real-life friend sends a request, politely decline – unless it’s already your practice to share your private FB with people who you don’t know. But even then, beware: If company leadership isn’t willing to risk trusting a new employee to conduct his private life appropriately, chances are they’re not going to respect the rules of good relationships down the road, either.

No matter how good the job may seem on paper, having the courage to say “no” to unwarranted intrusions on your privacy will save you from a lot of strife.

What do you think: Would you say no? Should you say no?

A Career Expert’s Advice on Creating a “Newsfeed” of New Opportunities

A recent HBR article by career expert Lindsey Pollak offered some great advice on how to curate your own personal job feed. Lindsey is the author of a book we love at myGreenlight, Getting from College to Career, which just had a newly revised version this year.

In the article, the first tip is to get specific: “if you were searching for a pair of shoes online,” Lindsey writes, “it wouldn’t be a very good strategy to go to Google or another search engine and type in shoes.” In other words you have to make sure you’re looking in the right places. To do this, you have to first decide exactly what you’re looking for. With specific terms and phrases you can narrow down the results and not waste time sifting through jobs that aren’t a good match for your needs.

The second tip is to research your particular niche in the job market. “The term ‘hyper-local’ doesn’t just apply to news; it also applies to jobs,” she writes. It is important to research and utilize the websites that are specifically geared to the type of job in the industry you are interested in.

Finally, it is crucial to realize and benefit from the ubiquity of social media. Even though social media can be a frivolous outlet, many companies do see social media as essential in the recruiting process. The way to gain the most from sites like Facebook and Twitter is to separate your professional and personal activity, according to Lindsey. That way, when looking for job opening, you will not be distracted or run the risk of seeming unprofessional. For example, on Twitter, you can create a “job info” list on your account, and then bookmark that page – creating an easy-to-follow feed of job-relevant data. Get searching!

What’s your best source for news of new positions, and how do you avoid information overload in the job search? Please share!

Win a Year of myGreenlight – Scholarship Contest

We want everyone to have access to amazing relational capital, so today we kick off our second scholarship contest. The winner will receive a FREE one-year unlimited membership to myGreenlight.

This prize, worth $699 (!), includes unlimited access to all of myGreenlight’s resources.

  • 3-course core curriculum
  • Field-tested Relationship Action Planning tool
  • 15+ hours of webinars and masterclasses, on everything from presentation skills to body language to social media branding
  • Multimedia Coaching Resource Center
  • Hundreds of samples, templates, and articles on-demand
  • Weekly newsletter to help sustain progress
  • Monthly live Social Capitalist Event with leading business thought leaders
  • Access to our alumni directory
  • Moderated community forums
  • Lifeline Group Recruiting and Accountability tool
PLUS the winner will receive all 3 of our Kickstart Bonus Courses
  • Five Steps to Relational Capital that Closes the Deal
  • Career Advancement: Optimize Your LinkedIn Profile
  • Entrepreneur’s Launch Kit

Each BONUS package includes an easy-to-implement action sequence with myGreenlight support materials – rocket fuel as you build your tailored network to make your dreams reality.

To win – submit your entry in the comments below. Tell us about your biggest relationship or networking-related challenge and what you will achieve with the relationship skills you develop during the course. The most compelling response (as judged by Community Manager Kibibi Springs and Program Director Sara Grace) will receive the scholarship.

What would YOU do if you could build the relationships that wouldn’t let you fail?  Tell us!

Entries must be received by April 6th at 5PM Eastern Time.  Good luck!

For more information about myGreenlight, including access to our Spring Special deal ($200 off of the regular price) - click here.  If you enroll and then win the scholarship, your tuition will be refunded in full – so don’t wait!

Heidi Roizen Gives You an All-Access Pass to Meet Anyone

One of the key relationship-building tactics that myGreenlight encourages is to research potential contacts to find a point of common interest to warm up conversations and create opportunities for true connection. In his interview with Heidi Roizen, Never Eat Alone co-author Tahl Raz noted that one of the critical aspects to confidence in meeting new people is giving yourself the context, or permission, to approach them in the first place.

Heidi said:

“You have a context as a human being to approach anybody else. I think it’s an interesting thought to have. You could probably find a connection with every other person on the planet if you probe enough about your interests, beliefs, style, passions, what music or TV shows you enjoy, or how you like to spend your time. There’s probably a connection point somewhere because we’re all very complex beings.”

For more great insights from Heidi, don’t miss the full transcript of the Social Capitalist interview: Social Capitalist Transcript – Heidi Roizen.