There was a time when saying the words, “Let me know what I can do to help,” was almost always laced with the worry that I actually had nothing to offer. The intention of generosity was there. It was just squashed behind the secret fear that someone might call my bluff: “Oh yeah? What could you possibly do to help me?”
Growing up in a family of divorce, addiction and dysfunction created a recurring (and common) theme of “never enough” for me. Unfortunately when that mentality creeps in, it’s not only harder to give, but nearly impossible to receive as well.
So how do we overcome this unhealthy programming? The key for me has been to illuminate those paralyzing scarcity beliefs and replace them with a radiating sense of abundance. The spark is gratitude. When we both feel and express gratitude on a consistent basis, we inherently acknowledge and invite abundance. This nurtures the abundance mindset we need in order to generously give and receive.
Thanksgiving is the perfect time to get refocused on daily habits that ignite gratitude. Here are a few suggestions (no turkey required):
- Start on a high note. Loretta Laroche once advised me to start the day with a hearty, “TAH DAH! I made it through the night!” If the first words out of your mouth are usually something more along the lines of, “Oh crap!” be aware of the tone you are setting for the rest of your day.
- Go on a “thank you” treasure hunt. Look for opportunities to be appreciative. Thank everyone. Say “thank you” every time you get a green light during your commute, when something in nature catches your eye or when the printer works. Find the gifts.
- Let your cup runneth over. Find two minutes each day to indulge in intense thoughts of gratitude and abundance. My favorite time to do this is right after a workout. Visualize it. Feel it. Let it wash over you.
- Adjust your attitude. Everyone has their moments. Recognize when you’re in a negative spiral so you can get back on a positive track. Here’s a clue: If you meet more than two jerks in one day, chances are pretty good you’re one of them.
- Make a list. Keep a written gratitude journal or make it verbal. Exchange the best parts of the day with your partner or children as a bedtime ritual. Words add power. Knowing you’ll be doing this each night will also make you more focused on finding list-worthy moments throughout the day.
When we instinctively feel that there is an infinite amount of goodness to go around, we give freely. When we see ourselves as authentically generous, we receive deservedly.
What helps your attitude of gratitude?
Charlene DeCesare is the co-founder and Senior Director of Tuition Advisory Services, an advising and technology firm that helps companies maximize ROI on corporate-sponsored education. She is also working on a book about personal and professional balance. Check out her insightful and entertaining blog, The Balance Beam.
This is so poignant. I started a Gratitude Journal about a month ago, and the positive effects are obvious and long-lasting. You gave me some new ideas to tack on to this new great habit! Thanks!
Thanks Mike! It really is amazing that the opportunities are so endless. Gratitude is the gift that keeps on giving!
So true about keeping out of the “this day is going to be a drudgery” attitude right out of the gate. Being able to offer help from a place of energy and abundance gives off a much better vibe than the obligatory offer (like the fake wallet grab) when we feel overwhelmed and depleted. Great post! Look foward to reading more!
Christina – “Fake wallet grab” made me chuckle. Thanks for the laugh! And definitely look around here at myGreenlight. Great content, amazing program and a very worthwhile community.
Wonderful words to live by, too many times we are in a hurry or so focused on what we need to do that we don’t stop to just be thankful.
Your outlook epitomizes a synergistic entity of wit, wisdom and common which brings much comfort to this reader and writer.
Richard – You are too kind (but that is the “not worthy” me talking.) Thank you for the generous words and positive energy!
June – Right on. Life has a funny way of distracting us. Ironic, eh? Thanks for the comment and I’m glad you enjoyed the post!
Sharing the good moments of the day with someone else might make them realize they also have some good moments to share! Happiness is contagious :)
Alannah – You are totally right. Just as negative energy can be contagious, so is all the “good stuff.” Thanks!
I love the comment about meeting two jerks in one day then chances are your one of them. It’s so true. It’s always a good idea to check yourself before assuming someone else is the problem, even if it seems that way at first. I also love a good treasure hunt. Putting it that way makes it fun. I’m going to have some fun today and then say TAH DAH!. LOL Thanks girl! :D
Tammy – Definitely one of my favorites as well, and true! Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment!
Charlene, I LOVED reading this post. You are an inspiration too me. Keep writing…… <3
Deb – I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you!!
Charlene, love your stuff. Always gives me something to think about and act on. Keep it coming.
Kevin
Kevin – Thanks! (And always more to come for sure!) You should definitely have a look around here at myGreenlight. The program is completely up your alley and has a lot to offer in terms of concrete ways to help your business grow through relationship mastery. Highly recommend!